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Comments for 'The Strive to Survive (Chapter 3: Supplies, Ammo, and Weapons to Kill Freaks)' |
CoLd BlooDed
8:32 pm | March 4, 2004
There, chapter 4 posted, it's a LONG one.
Action, this one has action. :D
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CoLd BlooDed
11:57 pm | March 3, 2004
We can only say for now that they have been lucky. :P
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MC's Cousin
6:09 pm | March 3, 2004
I suppose that is right. Too much death can be a bad thing, especially whn you are trying to really deveope the characters. But still, the humans sound a little too tough for how I knew them. Besides, killing everyone makes the story pass too quickly, takes the fealing of [something] away from people. Still, it was a good story.
Signing Off
MCC
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CoLd BlooDed
5:10 am | March 3, 2004
Thanks Delta and Jon, I'll try my best to get rid of those errors.
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IAmDelta
4:50 am | March 3, 2004
I don't like to criticize you Cold, because over all your stories are excellent. However...there were a few sentences that didn't make much sense, and in a couple places I stumbled because an odd word didn't fit right. However, it'd be hard to explain without citing specific cases (basically re editing the thing) so I won't bother. I don't need to tell you that the plot was great as always. Keep it up, bud.
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Jon M
3:26 am | March 3, 2004
'Scuse me, your name is?
Nice job man. A word choice here and there, maybe a few dialogue changes, kill a cliche now and then... (Sorry...can't...help...self....must...suggest edits...argh)
Ahhh..now that that's out of the way I can say It again, Nice Job!
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SOS.Odin
2:50 am | March 3, 2004
*whisper*hey cold. sorry to bother you. but..i just wanted to let ya know...i posted another chapt. i like this one. i didnt read it over tho.
thanks *end whisper* :D
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CoLd BlooDed
2:08 am | March 3, 2004
Well, kinda. The Flood are just taking over the ring, remember? And in the game on Keyes, they were attempting to take over the ship, so I decided that they could reprogram the AI and use it to their own advantage(besides, ONI hadn't worked out all the bugs that were still implemented).
Do you think that the AI would've originally locked Jake and the other soldiers out?
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teemus
1:12 am | March 3, 2004
It was good, I liked your last chapter a tad bit better. Did the flood give the AI a virus, because i dont think AI's can be infected. :P
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CoLd BlooDed
11:57 pm | March 2, 2004
You guys are going to have to trust me, ok? I know the perfect time when to deliver an appropriate amount of action. :P
I'm not going to give anything away, but thanks for the comments.
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ToFu
11:30 pm | March 2, 2004
Dude give me some GORE, I crave it!! give a marine a torso ripped or sumthin!
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SOS.Odin
11:30 pm | March 2, 2004
'Nosolee speaks the truth.
i have like eight chapters in my neverland series
and only two of them have actual combat
but i like this story
the amount of detail is frighteningly professional
my stories pale in comparison.
great job
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Wiley
11:26 pm | March 2, 2004
Very good, as per usual.
8.75
Freaky
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'Nosolee
10:02 pm | March 2, 2004
Combat schmombat, not all stories have to have comboat, as Steele said back in da day, ahem, "Demanding for action is n00bish"
Great CoLd
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MC's Cousin
6:09 pm | March 2, 2004
Yes, flamethrowers and death. No one died, and there wasn't a whole lot of combat I could dive into. The story was there and good, but something was missing...
I would go with more human deaths per chap. You made them sound immortal or something. Flood would smack them around a little bit more. I looking forward the future stories so don't dissapoint.
Signing Off
MCC
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Awacar
5:55 pm | March 2, 2004
Great, great, great!!
Love this thing, as Hell said, I thought that I was there. (A very unpleasant feeling when combating the flood, but that increases the exitement.)
Next chapter, please...
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Helljumper
4:11 pm | March 2, 2004
I felt like I was there, I think someone needed to die though in my opinion. One death per chapter. Good details, i cared for Jake and hoped he wouldn't die. Good shit.
ODST
PS you should have some Helljumpers come in with flamethrowers and save the day
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