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Comments for 'After HALO (k) Prologue' |
The guy who wrote the story
1:05 am | September 26, 2002
Yo! If you thought that story was too kiddie its because I am a 10 year old kid. Gimme a break. But I'll try not to put in that much kiddie stuff.Thanks for the comments! I'm glad I have an audience.Kyle
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Wado
3:59 am | September 24, 2002
I enjoyed this story. For some reason I was laughing through it because it entertained me. Something about whole moons blowing up and a million Covenant landing just put a smile on my face. Everything was bigger and better. Anyway, if your intention was not what I described then please don't take offense. I did like the story. Keep writing. If you want to improve your writing then read what the other comments say, they have the right idea, but please keep this writing fresh. Yes, try to keep it fresh because if every chapter is just like this one, the story will get old really fast.
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el_halo_diablo
1:01 am | September 24, 2002
yah but its like: 10 carriers fought, then MC landed on the last surviving carrier, then MC had a party celebrating the total destruction of the Covenant race.
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gruntkiller
10:46 pm | September 23, 2002
slow it down its like everything is stuct in fast firword x10, other than that pretty good
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master stu
5:53 pm | September 23, 2002
that went way to fast, sloe it dow. it is all jumbled around., take you time and let us enjoy the story
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mystery critik
9:03 am | September 23, 2002
you have to let the words flow, not just the thoughts in yer head
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el_halo_diablo
2:22 am | September 23, 2002
ok to start things off, It went too fast, alot of that stuff was too kiddy. you need to paragraph when someone talkes, and the list keeps going on...It turned out to be a nice story despite the drawbacks.
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