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 Comments for 'The Enemy Within-Chapter Two: A Trap Triggered'		  | 
	 
 
  
	
		
			Mind_Affecting_Parasite  
7:17 pm | April 10, 2004 
			Well, this piece seems to have recieved high marks.  I am glad.
  I'm glad it kept you reading and gave you "feelings", I suppose I just got the mood right on. A bridge huh? Maybe I need to take an engineering class...
  -MAP
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			Jenkins  
2:30 pm | February 23, 2004 
			Awesome!!  I felt like I was reading one of the Halo books.  Nice writing style.  Can't wait for the next chapter.
  -Dammit Jenkins fire your weapon!!
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			JanstheMan  
12:20 pm | February 22, 2004 
			Very good story. It kept me reading on, and the characters were very nicely done.
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			MC's Cousin  
12:02 pm | February 22, 2004 
			Now I see I'm going to use this comparison a lot in the future but oh-well, I like it.  Like a bridge (see previous relating post), if it is too short, most of the time it will turn out to be annoying and pointless.  If however the bridge is short and necessary (say, over a deep but not very wide ravine) then it can be alright, but making sure your base (what's under the bridge) is important makes that distinction.  You float somewhere inbetween I think right now.
  Signing Off
 
  MCC
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			Awacar  
6:47 am | February 22, 2004 
			Quite good, but too short. Still, I liked the feling of being there that you gave me.
  MCC, a great explanation of story-structure. *Awed*
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			CoLd BlooDed  
3:42 am | February 22, 2004 
			Wow, MCC, that is a real cool explanation on the structure of stories.  For my next TSTS tell me if the bridge collapses, okay? ;P
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			CoLd BlooDed  
7:47 pm | February 21, 2004 
			Well written, and also, if you want more readers then you have to read their stories like Delta said.  You should also make them longer, its better when there is more to read. :D
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			Mind_Affecting_Parasite  
2:48 pm | February 20, 2004 
			Yeah, I've read a few of the other stories, but I suppose I just didn't want to comment.  I'll give the advice a go.
  -MAP
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			IAmDelta  
6:27 am | February 20, 2004 
			Good job.  Keep writing like this and you should have no problem keeping it interesting.  If you want people to read your stories, I suggest you read theirs and comment on them.  People will see your name and then when you post they will read.  Good luck.
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			Helljumper  
5:59 am | February 20, 2004 
			The series is good so far
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			Author  
3:11 pm | February 19, 2004 
			all of them were, sorry I wasn't more specific.  I wanted to get another one out so no one would forget about the previous story.  That's why is was so short too.
  P.S. I hate to do this, but tell smoe of the other fanfiction goers to read some of my stuff, having very few comments is really discoraging.  I want to know what people think about it.
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			Mastergrunt  
2:50 pm | February 19, 2004 
			Pretty good. So was the original group and the three search teams destroyed or just one.
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