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Comments for 'Chapet one: Unforgiving Wounds' |
IAmDelta
4:50 am | March 2, 2004
A mediocre plot and jerky writing. Get your verb tenses down and it might be readable. And what the hell's with the all the sex references? "I was about to DG-Style this girl"? It doesn't add anything except to make the whole story feel kind of ridiculous. Besides the fact that I don't think the Marines have much time to do such things witha war on. Work on these points and perhaps it might become a decent story.
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ToFu
7:03 pm | February 29, 2004
Oh heres a preview of my next story of HALO: Peace without Serenity. The marines finally arrived on Nylund and are now searching for President Phoenix. Dorian finds out that they arent the only guest on the planet...
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ToFu
5:37 pm | February 29, 2004
Im sorry fellas the main title is Halo: Peace without Serenity sorry bout that... and sorry bout the chapet lol.
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Sentinel
6:29 pm | February 28, 2004
........What is the actual title?
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Nick Kang
12:42 pm | February 28, 2004
Good story. But its definetly not spelled 'Chapet'. lol. And 'starred' is spelled with 2 r's. Not one. I might have missed some mistakes.
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